time to call it quits.

alright.
about the me and her incident, the whole fighting match, it's been called quits.
by both of us.
alright, this girl is celine.
after two long letters, this case has been laid to rest.
the main reason why i'm blogging bout this is to prove my sincerity in apologizing.
after she apologized, i decided, i needed to do it too.
it's not that i'm not in the wrong to blog bout it kay.
i'm in the wrong too.
well, i made a mistake and so did she.
we both realized our faults and has came clean bout this, right? :)
whatever happens from now, i've no clue.
well, whatever it is, take care alright, celine?
xoxo.
once again, i'm sorry.

some people just never grow up.

why?
that's the main word people ask when they're confused bout something.
well, currently, i'm confused bout this.
an old friend of mine has this intense hatred raging all over her.
bout me.
she's like this time bomb exploding whenever she talks bout me.
dude, reality check.
how old are you? you're even older than me.
why these acts of childishness?
no offence.
but, seriously, i think it's time to grow up.
you're 16. going on 17.
i'm 15. going on 16.
why do i seem like the more matured one?
why act cute? why?
it's all these questions ringing in my head.
why these hatred?
why must there be war?
why must there be discrimination?
it's puzzling. simply, puzzling.
all those words you use, are simply, barbaric.
"she's too dumb to function a phone."?
haha. cute.
excuse me. why is your civilization level so minimal?
i mean, it seems like, you find the thrill in saying that?
does it bring you any good?
oh right. haha.
maybe it simply pleasures you to make someone's life so-called miserable.
i don't know how to help you.
someday, i hope, you'll see your actions are an act of childishness.
you're filling your life with hate and anger.
wonder how you do that.
gotta give you credit for that.
grow up.
note: GROW UP. BE AN ADULT.
really, no offence, but, honestly, i thought your dad was a well-mannered man.
but, it's in YOU.
open your eyes.
i remember what you said bout dumping your ex.
"one month plus is more than enough for a first-timer."
it still shocks me.
he was so hurt.
did you ever think bout his feelings?
he loved you so much.
sigh.
as i said, sins are meant to be commited.
but, there's also the turn of innocence.
go ahead. say all you like.
to me, and to others who has a matured mind, will see that, the one who speaks like an adult, and the one who doesn't take matters like brutal killings, is the better individual.
reflect yourself.


amen.

hey yo! X)

haha. things have been going alright i guess. :)
some ppl still bitching bout me.
but, hey, it's up to them la.
i did what i am suppose to do.
i apologised.
what's done is done.
i turned over a new leaf.
if they still wanna talk bad about me, so be it.
i can live without them.
some ppl have weird tastes though.
her men are getting....erm.
what word would be nice?
erm. larger?
yeah. her taste in men are getting LARGER.
which is kinda weird.
oh well, and did i mention she was hardcore flirting with her EX?! IN SOMEONE'S PARTY?!
DUDE, WAKE UP!
don't cheapen till so much la please.
don't go throwing yourself around like that.
ahem. so, don't go around being a pot to call the kettle black. :)
much appreciated.
her friends, all same thing.
one, kinda scares alice and i.
she stares like, crazy?
we're like,"omg. wtf is she staring at?"
alice was like,"is she a lesbo or something?" O.o
oh well, who cares bout her sexuality?
hmm. moving on to more important things.
things have been good.
pinky's party was bangin' yo! :D
ahaha. although the 3 amigos above were there.
hmm. oh well, didn't take much space in there la don't worry. ;)
haha. what else......
pinky was looking sweet in dresses and everyone was just having smiles on their faces! ;D
those who wanna have a lil peek on what happened, there's a few snap shots in my friendster profile.
check it out yo! :D
take care peopleeee!
cheerss!

3 months. :3

it's been 3 months since we got together.
we went through hell together.
we also went through heaven together. :)
it took me quite some time to realize i really do love him alot.
why was i so dumb?
i nearly lost him a couple of times and only then i realised i DO love him more than i imagined i did.
i will always remember this one kiss he gave me that totally melted me.
all this while, he kept showering me with love and me being so idiotic, only took him for granted.
i treated him real bad last time but he still stood by my side saying he loves me and blaming himself for my mistakes. :(
i feel so retarded looking back at my actions.
i'm so sorry, baby.
i've changed to someone who will appreciate what's so important to me instead of regretting once i lose it.
i can see a bright future ahead of us. :))
i hope you can see it too, sweetie.
you've done lots for me.
i might never be able to repay you for the rest of my life.
the least i can possibly ask from you now is,
let me repay you for the rest of my life by loving you. :')
i mean it, dear.
every tear i cried for you, made me realise how deep my love is for you.
i know you're not by my side physically all the time to protect me.
but, i know if you had the chance, you'll protect me with your life.
the bangle you gave me has been 'you' when you're not here.
it has taken good care of me and protected me from alot of negative things.
thank you so much, darling.
thank you so much.
for everything you've done for me and all we've been through.
we're going out tomorrow! YAY! :DDD
i can't wait, baby.
to finally be in your arms again.
feeling your warm, soft kisses. :)
whatever that didn't kill our relationship just made it stronger.
you're a total gentleman inside out.
i love you more than ever.
i just wanna love you more and more. <33333~>

the old times. :')

the old times.
wow. coming to realise, things are so different now.
compared to the times i had with loong, it's kinda different now.
i just read all the testimonials that i sent to him during our 5 month relationship.
wow. really looks like i really loved him.
honestly, i kinda miss it.
but, the time i'm having with ivan now is just as great.
i'm wishing this will last too.
i really am.
i just realised how much love can cost.
ANSWER = PRICELESS.
all the things that i did are not meant to be forgiven but he forgave me.
he sacrificed shit lots for me.
God, i gotta appreciate a guy like him.
two of my best friends told me to appreciate this guy and hold on to him with my life.
i couldn't agree more.
i let go of one deep, true love once.
i'm NOT gonna let go of this one.
this might be the last.
no way i'm seeing this fly by without putting effort into this.
it's like, all the things i did before with ivan are all pouring back.
the way we met was just so special.
i was like, his tutor. LOL.
it was real fun. :DD
the way he looked at me and the way i peeped back. LOL.
so cute. :3
it's gonna be the 3rd month soon.
my love is just growing stronger with every beat.
i can't wait to see him again. :(
i miss him so much.
his kisses are warm with so much meaning in between.
everything we do and say all comes from the heart we have for each other.
i don't want this to last a few months and end again.
i've enough of these kinda relationships.
it's time i settled down for a damn long one.
i'm ready for a long one.
i'm resisting all temptations.
as what ivan believes in,
"suffer now, enjoy later"
so, i'm willing to suffer now and enjoying later when i get to see him everyday.
i can't enjoy flirting around now and suffer when he can't take it and leaves me.
i'm NOT gonna let them happen.
my love for him is just up to this level where i trust him as much as i trust loong. :)
one thing they both have in common is that they were BOTH REAL SHY AT FIRST. XD
but, as time passed, they both opened up. :))
i will never forget these two lovers.
they really made me who i am today.
thank you, ivan and loong.
both of you will always have a place in my heart no matter what happens. <33
ivan as my loving boyfriend and loong as my best ex. :)




i love my life right now. there are so many good things going on. thank you, dear Lord for pulling me out of hell. i'm healing from everything and taking baby steps to become a better person. :)


something happened to me this year.
i gotta change it back.
something bad happened to my attitude.
come on, val.
you can do better than this! T.T
i don't wanna have anymore enemies whatsoever.
whoever enemies from other schools, let's settle this like adults kay?
apologies come first.
i'm sorry. there you go. something you wanted all along. :)


i love you guys. <33 mwahxx.
thanks to the friends who were there when i needed people behind me. :D
thanks, loves.


P.S I LOVE IVAN! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! XP

after some thinking.

well, i did some thinking.
after what arnold said bout the whole reputation thing, it kinda makes sense. :)
so, i don't really wanna stress on it too much anymore.
things are starting to get a lil out of hand but i'm just starting to cool off.
no idea what's wrong with me, but, i'm just trying to smile at everything.
i don't wanna argue anymore.
i think every part of me has boiled off and evaporated.
true friends would know who i really am.
so, ppl out there, say whatever you want la.
but, hey, i believe in karma.
what goes around, comes around alright?
all the best to ppl who are out to kill me right now.
let's see who'll be your next predator. :)
i'm just chilling.
fyi, jack and i are NOT A COUPLE.
everything's going nice and slow right, jack jack? :))
perfectly pure relationship.
no stealing, whatsoever.
i'm not gonna curse in here.
i'm just trying to cool off and let god play His role.
i don't wanna be stealing his role and end up getting backfired myself.
let time tell for everything. ;)
to theesigan, up to you to spread all you want.
sorry to yell at you over the past few days.
well, someone had to come up with a move.
let's say, the younger one had the honour to be the better person.
you know and everyone knows what you've done to 'kill' my reputation.
so, as i said, karma. :)
i've got other more important things to worry about.
true friends are rare.
i so happen found 5 true friends who are there for me no matter where they are.
1) definitely to pinky. (she's been there for 2 years.)
2) alice. (stood up for me.)
3) thiru. (he defended me and trusted me even after he transferred school and the ppl there
said bad stuff bout me.)
4) jack jack. (he did too much to list. so much effort in helping my fatal habits.)
5) arnold. (the wise apple tree! XD and i'm one of the apples. O.O)


these 5 ppl really shone among the rest. :') i love all 5 of you with my heart. <33333
sorry to the rest who actually believed in ppl's rumours and actually continued their lil game to backstab me.
it's okay. i've gotten over it.
life's like this. i can't do much.
as long as i have my true friends by my side supporting me and watching my back all the way. :)
okay. which would you prefer?

a) 100 fake friends who might backstab you at any time.
b) 5 true friends who loves you as much as you love them.

without hesitation, my answer is B. :)
thanks, guys.
mwahhx.
you were there when i was being stepped all over by some ppl.
you were the ones who picked me up from the ground and dusted off the dirt and gave me a hug. :')
without you 5, my life will be a rot.
thanks, honeyss. :) my heart will always be owned by you.
here's a lil poem for my loved ones.



the rotting times,
and also the damned.
you were there for me,
from the beginning till the end.


you saved me from the pain,
you cured my bleeding heart.
you sheltered me from rain,
and cared for me from the start.


these true friends are priceless,
it takes an event to happen to see.
they shone from the rest,
God just sent these angels to me.


i just made this on the spot. i love you! :)
xoxo.

funny day for a black ape.

omg! today was just such a sucky day.
well, i got to school as normal.
but, right after recess, some high school drama happened.
it was an angry, stressful, painful session.
it involved me, alice and him.
well, i don't really know how to spell his name.
too complicated. lol.
oh well. the thing that happened was that he wanted to look for me.
so, he did.
i was starting to boil at that time.
so, i didn't really give a shit whether he was gonna screw me or talk nicely.
so, true enough.
he pointed fingers and started to put on his fucking retarded face.
now, that triggered me off.
i've been trying to hold it in for about a week now.
as most ppl know, i'm a really short tempered person.
for me to hold on for a week, it's considered a great achievement.
so, any lil thing would have triggered me off at that very moment.
him pointing at me and yelling at me obviously made me pissed.
that was the trigger and he pulled it.
so, i EXPLODED.
i shouted at him and i walked away.
he pointed at me ORDERING me to go in front of him.
i pointed my finger in his face and shouted saying, "I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SLAVE! DON'T ORDER ME!"
somehow, i realized i was boiling at 100 degrees at that moment and he started to be a bit shaky.
well, his finger pointing at me was shaking at least.
after yelling at me, he decided to take it out on innocent alice.
now, THAT SERIOUSLY MADE ME WANNA PUNCH HIM COS THAT PISSED ME OFF!
he called her all sorts of names.
fucking pussy, bitch and so many more flowery, hurtful names.
oh come on. YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE A 'GUY' la.
or maybe you're just too tied up over some personal issues about confirming your gender?
no offence but there's alot of ppl outside and inside school all ready to gang up against you.
so, please do not think as though i don't have back up and you have all the friends in the world.
he has broken the trust that alice had for him over the past 3 years of friendship with those words he used on her.
i could see that she was too hurt to stand up for herself this morning.
i was hurt to see her like that.
i was boiling, and he went and attack her.
arnold calls him a beast. lol.
oh well, cancel that. back to the point.
he knows what he did.
he knows what he said.
he even yelled at sabrina who is a prefect and that can be a serious offence to his prefect position.
he might get fired or suspended for verbally abusing students AND a prefect.
so, all i have to do now, is wait for the time to come where he does his shit once more, and he's a goner.
bring it on, bitch.
i actually can't wait to see him taking actions on provoking me.
okay. no problem.
he'll get fired then. i don't really care bout his reputation.
he'll get 50 demerits or even more.
trying to 'kill' my reputation?
haha. let's see about that, child.
you're a form4. ACT LIKE ONE!
don't be so childish by threatening, ordering and provoking ppl over your lil anger.
you created a big scene today outside 4 siantan.
making a big fuss and blaming it all on me.
whether it was a misunderstanding, or whatsoever, i don't care.
your reputation sucks in form5 for your information.
the amount of enemies you have is countless.
i'm pretty sure you're gonna say that about me too.
oh well. i don't care what you're lil mind thinks.
grow up, man.

back from genting. :D

hello!
after getting back from genting, man, the headache totally sucked!
the stupidddd teacup!
my cousins kept rotating it like some speed cup thingy. O.O
nearly puked.
other rides didn't make me puke but the damn teacup did. -.-'
i sat on 12 rides! XD
1)spinner (was worried that the thing might snap and send me swinging across genting. O.O)
2)space shot (LOST MY BREATH AND COULDN SCREAM ON THE WAY DOWN! T.T)
3)pirate ship (kinda fun with cousins. :D)
4)flume ride (the boat that smashes into water. damn. whacked my head on the way down. T.T)
5)mine train (this was for kids. -.-)
6)bumper boat (my boat just kept spinning without moving forward. -.-)
7)rotating teacup (bloody hell this man. nearly puked!)
8)go kart (overtook everyone. this was the best. XD)
9)corkscrew (damn. 360 turn scared the shit out of me)
10)cyclone (first ride i took in my life. made my heart pop)
11)flying coaster (new ride. didn't even scream. too tired for the day. lol)
12)super tobbogun (brake-less. and guess what. i got whacked on the head on the way up this time. -.-)


daymm. all practically pulled my heart out of my chest! T.T
i hate it when it's going down.
plus, i'm shit afraid of heights and all this has to happen.
but, it was damn fun. :BB
oh well, won't be going there anytime soon.
before the theme park thingy on saturday, i went to genting on friday.
went by lrt. from kelana jaya to gombak! damn far.
then, we took a bus up to genting.
followed by the cable car to take us to the peak. XD
went for 'fly'.
the show.
it was kinda cool.
got hot guys and the chics were pretty hot too. haha.
overall, this has been a great experience since the last time i went which was 10 years ago.
loves it.
now, next year, i'm aiming for bali. XD

all moving too fast.

oh god.
wtf is going on right now?!
the whole misunderstanding-wanna-kill-you-now kinda shit is so fucking stressful la kay.
can't you just fucking get out of my life?
stay in your own and mind your own damn business la.
one more thing, i can't believe my very own best friends totally betrayed me from the start.
now, that shit hurts.
guess what?
revenge is all in my mind right now.
don't mess with me and my emotions.
things will turn shit ugly.
well, knowing that she betrayed me long before this issue, now, that's drama.
well, let's see what we can do about it.
put it this way.
the guy she likes, fallen for me.
*shrugs* TOO BAD?! WTF CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
don't say i STOLE YOUR BOY WHEN HE'S NOT EVEN YOURS!
OMG WEI. i so can't believe this.
what are true friends?
haha. let me tell you this.
you really played the game shit well for me to trust you so much.
i learnt that YOU can't be trusted with nuts no more.
you live your life with your pesky lil friends and i live my own life with my true friends and oh yeah!
maybe my life has YOUR CRUSH in it too. oops.
like i give a shit anymore.
what-e-ver, man.
you pushed me to this stage.

:D time for some fun.

i'm about to leave for genting in less than 2 hours.
skipped school today. XD
well, missed arnold's lil surprise for alice, BUT! i've yet to get the full news on it. :))
oh well, taking LRT to the cable station then, taking the cable car up to the highlands. :D
daymm, it's gonna be shit load of fun!
can't wait.
oh yeah. HAPPY BE-EARLY BIRTHDAY, ARNOLD! XD
i hope your 'BIRTHDAY WISH' will come true.
*nudge nudge alice*
ahaha.
oh well, i better get going now.
got some last minute packing to do.
have fun, my loves. :)
mwahhhxx!

ahhh! hard work! "+B

omg. do you know how much hard work it is to go jogging everyday? T.T
bout an hour a day in the evening is seriously shit tiring!
ah well. no pain, no gain. :/
well, both of my best friends that i said i lost in the first post, came back. :D
thank GOD!
my prayers were answered! :)
i love you two so much, pinky and zu! :DDD
things are good.
well, apart from a few other ppl that's not really in talking terms with me, everything's good.
oh yeah!
THE BIGGEST SURPRISE TODAY WAS THAT A NORWEGIAN GIRL CAME TO SCHOOL SAYING SHE'S LIM YEE'S COUSIN!!
OMFGGGG!!!! O.O
that was a serious shocker this morning.
she looks really sweet with nice dirty blonde hair, and grey-ish blue eyes. wow.
jealousy seeps in with those beautiful features.
AND HER LASHES! AHHHHHH!!!
serious shocker.
compare with lim yee? PL-EASE! NOT EVEN CLOSE!
oh well. i don't quite wanna blog bout lim yee anyways.
haha. well, what else happened today.
hmmmm. :/
nothing much.
my main intention of this blog is to tell everyone reading this that my best friends are BACK!! :DD
i'm kinda loving life and everything about it. :))
guess this is the up! XD
oh yeah! my new fav song-teenagers by my chemical romance!!!
IT'S ADDICTIVEEEE! XOXO.



P.S alice, take out your earring before it ROTSSSS!


LOTS OF LOVE. <33 xoxo.

the healing

well, things are starting to heal slowly.
july is here and is half way through now.
time just passes by too quickly to ignore.
exams are near.
what should i be doing?
i failed 4 the last test and lots of things happened too.
nearly got caught doing LOTS of stuff which nearly led me to being a drop out at the age of 15 in form4. :/
well, lucky i guess.
i realised a few things bout my life.
it's somehow, filled with lies.
lies are everywhere.
and, i lie myself.
i lie to get away with stuff ALL THE TIME.
it happens almost everyday actually.
now, the guilt is sinking in me.
that just sucks.
sigh. T.T
and there's this guy that i would like to befriend.
but, one problem.
he's my best friend's ex!
i was like, omg.
what am i to do?
it's not like i'll like him okayy.
not my type.
but, i'm even scared to be friends with this guy cos i can see that my buddy still has a thing for him. :/
sigh. that's one issue.
another one is, teachers seem to just enjoy picking on me. -.-
i don't see the joy in that.
practically EVERY SINGLE TEACHER in school is after me for the TEEENY TINIEST thing.
JUST TO GET IT AT ME!
urgh. >:[
hmm. what else has happened lately?
i celebrated my first month with my honey. ;)
haha. it was sweeeeeeeet!
he made sure everything was perfect.
so cautious about it.
true enough.
no mistakes. :)
that day really made me love him even more than ever. haha. :D
it really improved our relationship in every way. :)
see how a date can change everything, peeps?
i made a mistake last time which nearly cost me.
there was a presence of another guy at the time we argued and we nearly broke up. :(
but, something inside me just told me not to.
the guilt i had in me was painful. real painful.
until i came to my senses to tell him, i was expecting a painful break up.
but, to my surprise, HE FORGAVE ME! NOT ONLY THAT, HE BLAMED HIMSELF FOR NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME WHICH LED ME TO SCOUTING AROUND!!
i was in the state of shock. i mean, who wouldn't?!
so, from then on, i learnt the true meaning of the word appreciation.
been changing my attitude ever since. :)
he's happy, i'm happpy. love.
:) <33333

bloody june.

god. i hate june somehow.

trust me, i'm not the only one who thinks so.


apart from the fact that one good thing that happened to me was to find someone,


all the other shit stuff just sucks.


urgh. >:[


well, the good thing is that, i found two really true friends that didn't change their attitude since the beginning of this year.

those two are the ones that i can trust the most right now.

without them, i would be crying day and night.

thanks to you two, alice and jen.

i love you. :3

the rest, all forming their own clique somewhere else.


well, i'm still surviving.


even my best friends for 2 years have changed into someone i myself can't explain.


yes there's times where she's still the same.


but, mostly, nowadays, the way she treats me and a few others is just so different.


i'm using the word few others because OBVIOUSLY i'm not alone in this.


quite a number has agreed with me that she's changing to something where i don't really know how to put it since she's been my buddy for so long.


but, if she were to be someone i'm not close to, i'll just simply use the word, bitch.


sorry to say, hunn.


it really sucks and hurts to say it but i just can't see you turn into one yet sit there quietly without saying anything.


it's your choice to see who were your true friends from the start.


for your information, your love one and your other best friends have noticed.


i hope this gets to you somehow.


we want you back, my dear.


you know who you are.


we're trying to save you back while we still can.


for other ppl who changed, i can't say anything because i just got to know you for a few months.


i've no right to ask you to change as i can see how much hatred you have in you over something i said as a friend.


i was just trying to be nice to tell you that you're changing and that ppl were talking bout you and it just got backfired.


you're upset just cos i don't want more ppl to talk about you.


gee. thanks, my friend.


you really made me proud.


i was there for you when you were down.


i was the one helping you in any situations.


i was the one who waited for you when everyone left you all alone.


but, this is what i get to show how much you appreciate me.


i never knew you would change so much.


or maybe i just got the wrong impression of you from the start.


whatever happens, i did my job as a good friend to tell you bout how i feel.


i hope this gets to you too.


take care, my dears. :)


i wish i can say that to you two in the face like i used to.


guess our friendship really ends here. :'(