3 months. :3

it's been 3 months since we got together.
we went through hell together.
we also went through heaven together. :)
it took me quite some time to realize i really do love him alot.
why was i so dumb?
i nearly lost him a couple of times and only then i realised i DO love him more than i imagined i did.
i will always remember this one kiss he gave me that totally melted me.
all this while, he kept showering me with love and me being so idiotic, only took him for granted.
i treated him real bad last time but he still stood by my side saying he loves me and blaming himself for my mistakes. :(
i feel so retarded looking back at my actions.
i'm so sorry, baby.
i've changed to someone who will appreciate what's so important to me instead of regretting once i lose it.
i can see a bright future ahead of us. :))
i hope you can see it too, sweetie.
you've done lots for me.
i might never be able to repay you for the rest of my life.
the least i can possibly ask from you now is,
let me repay you for the rest of my life by loving you. :')
i mean it, dear.
every tear i cried for you, made me realise how deep my love is for you.
i know you're not by my side physically all the time to protect me.
but, i know if you had the chance, you'll protect me with your life.
the bangle you gave me has been 'you' when you're not here.
it has taken good care of me and protected me from alot of negative things.
thank you so much, darling.
thank you so much.
for everything you've done for me and all we've been through.
we're going out tomorrow! YAY! :DDD
i can't wait, baby.
to finally be in your arms again.
feeling your warm, soft kisses. :)
whatever that didn't kill our relationship just made it stronger.
you're a total gentleman inside out.
i love you more than ever.
i just wanna love you more and more. <33333~>

the old times. :')

the old times.
wow. coming to realise, things are so different now.
compared to the times i had with loong, it's kinda different now.
i just read all the testimonials that i sent to him during our 5 month relationship.
wow. really looks like i really loved him.
honestly, i kinda miss it.
but, the time i'm having with ivan now is just as great.
i'm wishing this will last too.
i really am.
i just realised how much love can cost.
ANSWER = PRICELESS.
all the things that i did are not meant to be forgiven but he forgave me.
he sacrificed shit lots for me.
God, i gotta appreciate a guy like him.
two of my best friends told me to appreciate this guy and hold on to him with my life.
i couldn't agree more.
i let go of one deep, true love once.
i'm NOT gonna let go of this one.
this might be the last.
no way i'm seeing this fly by without putting effort into this.
it's like, all the things i did before with ivan are all pouring back.
the way we met was just so special.
i was like, his tutor. LOL.
it was real fun. :DD
the way he looked at me and the way i peeped back. LOL.
so cute. :3
it's gonna be the 3rd month soon.
my love is just growing stronger with every beat.
i can't wait to see him again. :(
i miss him so much.
his kisses are warm with so much meaning in between.
everything we do and say all comes from the heart we have for each other.
i don't want this to last a few months and end again.
i've enough of these kinda relationships.
it's time i settled down for a damn long one.
i'm ready for a long one.
i'm resisting all temptations.
as what ivan believes in,
"suffer now, enjoy later"
so, i'm willing to suffer now and enjoying later when i get to see him everyday.
i can't enjoy flirting around now and suffer when he can't take it and leaves me.
i'm NOT gonna let them happen.
my love for him is just up to this level where i trust him as much as i trust loong. :)
one thing they both have in common is that they were BOTH REAL SHY AT FIRST. XD
but, as time passed, they both opened up. :))
i will never forget these two lovers.
they really made me who i am today.
thank you, ivan and loong.
both of you will always have a place in my heart no matter what happens. <33
ivan as my loving boyfriend and loong as my best ex. :)




i love my life right now. there are so many good things going on. thank you, dear Lord for pulling me out of hell. i'm healing from everything and taking baby steps to become a better person. :)


something happened to me this year.
i gotta change it back.
something bad happened to my attitude.
come on, val.
you can do better than this! T.T
i don't wanna have anymore enemies whatsoever.
whoever enemies from other schools, let's settle this like adults kay?
apologies come first.
i'm sorry. there you go. something you wanted all along. :)


i love you guys. <33 mwahxx.
thanks to the friends who were there when i needed people behind me. :D
thanks, loves.


P.S I LOVE IVAN! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! XP

after some thinking.

well, i did some thinking.
after what arnold said bout the whole reputation thing, it kinda makes sense. :)
so, i don't really wanna stress on it too much anymore.
things are starting to get a lil out of hand but i'm just starting to cool off.
no idea what's wrong with me, but, i'm just trying to smile at everything.
i don't wanna argue anymore.
i think every part of me has boiled off and evaporated.
true friends would know who i really am.
so, ppl out there, say whatever you want la.
but, hey, i believe in karma.
what goes around, comes around alright?
all the best to ppl who are out to kill me right now.
let's see who'll be your next predator. :)
i'm just chilling.
fyi, jack and i are NOT A COUPLE.
everything's going nice and slow right, jack jack? :))
perfectly pure relationship.
no stealing, whatsoever.
i'm not gonna curse in here.
i'm just trying to cool off and let god play His role.
i don't wanna be stealing his role and end up getting backfired myself.
let time tell for everything. ;)
to theesigan, up to you to spread all you want.
sorry to yell at you over the past few days.
well, someone had to come up with a move.
let's say, the younger one had the honour to be the better person.
you know and everyone knows what you've done to 'kill' my reputation.
so, as i said, karma. :)
i've got other more important things to worry about.
true friends are rare.
i so happen found 5 true friends who are there for me no matter where they are.
1) definitely to pinky. (she's been there for 2 years.)
2) alice. (stood up for me.)
3) thiru. (he defended me and trusted me even after he transferred school and the ppl there
said bad stuff bout me.)
4) jack jack. (he did too much to list. so much effort in helping my fatal habits.)
5) arnold. (the wise apple tree! XD and i'm one of the apples. O.O)


these 5 ppl really shone among the rest. :') i love all 5 of you with my heart. <33333
sorry to the rest who actually believed in ppl's rumours and actually continued their lil game to backstab me.
it's okay. i've gotten over it.
life's like this. i can't do much.
as long as i have my true friends by my side supporting me and watching my back all the way. :)
okay. which would you prefer?

a) 100 fake friends who might backstab you at any time.
b) 5 true friends who loves you as much as you love them.

without hesitation, my answer is B. :)
thanks, guys.
mwahhx.
you were there when i was being stepped all over by some ppl.
you were the ones who picked me up from the ground and dusted off the dirt and gave me a hug. :')
without you 5, my life will be a rot.
thanks, honeyss. :) my heart will always be owned by you.
here's a lil poem for my loved ones.



the rotting times,
and also the damned.
you were there for me,
from the beginning till the end.


you saved me from the pain,
you cured my bleeding heart.
you sheltered me from rain,
and cared for me from the start.


these true friends are priceless,
it takes an event to happen to see.
they shone from the rest,
God just sent these angels to me.


i just made this on the spot. i love you! :)
xoxo.

funny day for a black ape.

omg! today was just such a sucky day.
well, i got to school as normal.
but, right after recess, some high school drama happened.
it was an angry, stressful, painful session.
it involved me, alice and him.
well, i don't really know how to spell his name.
too complicated. lol.
oh well. the thing that happened was that he wanted to look for me.
so, he did.
i was starting to boil at that time.
so, i didn't really give a shit whether he was gonna screw me or talk nicely.
so, true enough.
he pointed fingers and started to put on his fucking retarded face.
now, that triggered me off.
i've been trying to hold it in for about a week now.
as most ppl know, i'm a really short tempered person.
for me to hold on for a week, it's considered a great achievement.
so, any lil thing would have triggered me off at that very moment.
him pointing at me and yelling at me obviously made me pissed.
that was the trigger and he pulled it.
so, i EXPLODED.
i shouted at him and i walked away.
he pointed at me ORDERING me to go in front of him.
i pointed my finger in his face and shouted saying, "I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SLAVE! DON'T ORDER ME!"
somehow, i realized i was boiling at 100 degrees at that moment and he started to be a bit shaky.
well, his finger pointing at me was shaking at least.
after yelling at me, he decided to take it out on innocent alice.
now, THAT SERIOUSLY MADE ME WANNA PUNCH HIM COS THAT PISSED ME OFF!
he called her all sorts of names.
fucking pussy, bitch and so many more flowery, hurtful names.
oh come on. YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE A 'GUY' la.
or maybe you're just too tied up over some personal issues about confirming your gender?
no offence but there's alot of ppl outside and inside school all ready to gang up against you.
so, please do not think as though i don't have back up and you have all the friends in the world.
he has broken the trust that alice had for him over the past 3 years of friendship with those words he used on her.
i could see that she was too hurt to stand up for herself this morning.
i was hurt to see her like that.
i was boiling, and he went and attack her.
arnold calls him a beast. lol.
oh well, cancel that. back to the point.
he knows what he did.
he knows what he said.
he even yelled at sabrina who is a prefect and that can be a serious offence to his prefect position.
he might get fired or suspended for verbally abusing students AND a prefect.
so, all i have to do now, is wait for the time to come where he does his shit once more, and he's a goner.
bring it on, bitch.
i actually can't wait to see him taking actions on provoking me.
okay. no problem.
he'll get fired then. i don't really care bout his reputation.
he'll get 50 demerits or even more.
trying to 'kill' my reputation?
haha. let's see about that, child.
you're a form4. ACT LIKE ONE!
don't be so childish by threatening, ordering and provoking ppl over your lil anger.
you created a big scene today outside 4 siantan.
making a big fuss and blaming it all on me.
whether it was a misunderstanding, or whatsoever, i don't care.
your reputation sucks in form5 for your information.
the amount of enemies you have is countless.
i'm pretty sure you're gonna say that about me too.
oh well. i don't care what you're lil mind thinks.
grow up, man.